Mike Haynes: The Voice of the Av's

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I just want to show some respect to a great man that constantly puts a smile on my face day in and day out. Mike Haynes with the Altitude Network, play by play announcer for the Avalanche, and on-air partner of Peter McNabb will undergo surgery on a Basilar Artery Aneurysm. His amazing on-air enthusiasm makes every game worth watching. He calls a great game every time and you can feel how passionate he is about the Av's. John Kelly, a former Av's announcer, will be paired up with McNabb once again to cover the playoffs.

So just know that all the Avalanche fans are with you and your family at this difficult time. Best Wishes and of course GO AV'S!


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WAR: Avalanche Vs. Wild

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Today it starts. The battle is officially over and the war has begun. The shock and awe campaign is about to begin while we start dropping nukes down upon the Minnesota Wild. And take my word for it, it's gonna be a great series. ESPN, and that fucking hack Barry Melrose, have picked the Wild to win in 6. I've got the Av's winning in 5.

At the end of February the Av's had 18 games left. I predicted that we'd win 14 of them. I was pretty close. We won 11, had 1 OTL (to MIN), and 6 loses. So we secured 23 points to take us to 6th in the conference. Minnesota did finish first in our division and 3rd overall, but just by the skin of their teeth. We also beat them in the last game of the regular season in the shootout. There's no doubt that the Wild (the worst mascot team name in the history of sports) are a talented team, coached by Jacques Lemaire, have an outstanding goalie in Backstrom and a great scorer out of Gaborik.

On paper I think both teams are pretty even. On the ice I might give the Wild the edge but for one reason only. Coaching. Lemaire is a great coach who demands his team play the style the he sees fit. Coach Joel Quenville, Coach Q, in my opinion has been less than brilliant when dealing with the Av's the past couple of seasons. He's a good coach and has been put to the test in terms of dealing with injuries and putting together lines this season. However, Coach Q does not have a very good post-season track record. If memory serves me correctly, the best that Coach Q has done was when the St. Louis Blues (the team he coached before coming to Colorado) was making it to the Western Conference Finals in 2001. Do you want to know what happened? The Av's destroyed them in 5 games.

To say the least this is going to be a great series. And to be truthful I couldn't imagine having to play San Jose, Detroit, or Anaheim in the first round. This is a team we know and a team we know we can beat. This is what we've been waiting for all year folks. The NHL playoffs are back and my boys, The Colorado Avalanche, are going to surprise a lot of people.


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Death & Lunch

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First things first. Way to go Av's. If you didn't watch the game like I suggested, you missed one hell of an ending. Joe Sakic was "Super" as usual and the rest of our team put on a hell of a performance. Don't worry Coach Q, the boys might just save your job after all. Av's are at home for the next 4 games, and hopefully we'll see Foppa out there giving someone hell. Keep it up boys. You owe me 14 wins, at least!

So on a different note I thought I'd write a bit about real life. I work in an office were I am one of the youngest employees they have. There are a few of us under 30 but most of the guys that work here are 50 or older. One employee in particular is older than "Death". I mean this with as much respect as I can. He's a nice old guy who walks around the office with as much energy as "Sid the Sloth". He's got a lumpy bald head that looks like the terrain for the next JEEP commercial. And his face resembles that of "Smeagol, or Gollum" for those of you that speak LOTR dork. So there is your description. Got a good picture in your head?

So I went to lunch today with "Smeagol" and another one of the employees. We went to a great Vietnamese place that I would absolutely visit again. You know it's good food when all the other patrons are Vietnamese and you're the only white people there. So we ordered our food, sipped on some tea, and struggled through pointless conversation about the weather, weekend plans, and all the crap you say to people that you don't really know. "Smeagol" doesn't say a word from the time we leave the office till the time we come back. Super, I know. The waiter brings our food and we begin the chore of attempting to respect another culture by using the chop sticks that were provided. So obviously it takes us forever to eat the god damn rice. "Smeagol" on the other hand decides to use a spoon, probably so that he can just gum his food in peace. The obvious strain of lifting a spoon to his toothless head about gave me a heart attack. He constantly looked like he was either going to:

A) Shit himself

B) Fall asleep in his Noodle Bowl

C) Die

Now granted he's an old timer and he's seen his share of winters if you take my meaning. And I'm sure you're all thinking we'll be like that someday too and how would you feel blah, blah, blah.

Now me personally, I was hoping for option B. This way I wouldn't have to smell his shit in the car ride home and Option C would have meant that I would have to use my CPR training, thank you Baywatch,and give this walking corpse mouth to mouth. For those of you that are either terribly concerned or just curious option D happened. None of the above.

The long and short of this little stint is this: My fucking lunch hour is too short to have to worry about whether or not someone asshole is going to fucking die at my table. I know it's a selfish fucking thing to think and I of course don't wish him any harm. But for god sakes man, I can't deal with that sort of pressure. Especially when all I want to do is eat my fucking chicken curry.

Until next time.....

stay dialed in.

Return to Greatness

About 30 minutes ago the Colorado Avalanche, correction, MY Colorado Avalanche signed Peter Forsberg to once again be an Avalanche. I can't tell you how excited the city of Denver is over this recent acquisition. "Peter the Great" will no doubt get our fans fired back up and get the blood pumping in the hearts of the Av's, who recently have been coming up short in the heart department. Even with the long awaited return of our Big 3 S men, Sakic, Stasny, and Smyth, the addition of "Foppa" will no doubt add that missing ingredient to our club. So look out Northwest Division, because you are about to witness another great streak that will NO DOUBT put my boys back into the playoffs. And if you've never seen Forsberg play, trust me, buy tickets to the next home game and you'll see why Super Joe Sakic is SUPER JOE and why Peter the Great is PETER THE MOTHER FUCKING GREAT!!!!! GO AV'S!!!!!!!!!

Red Assholes Vs. My Boys

Tonight we play the Red Wings again. Though we've yet to beat them this year, we've also played some of our best hockey against Detroit. Just haven't been able to find the back of the net. The Wings are on a 6 game losing streak and my boys are on a 3 game streak. So pull your shit together people and think positive thoughts. I'll try and bring back some quality pics. Give 'em Hell Boys!