I don’t know about any of you poor bastards, but I feel as if my mind has been on overload all summer. It’s been so chaotic that I just realized it’s almost October and I pooped myself a little. Think about the summer and ask yourself: Where the fuck did it go? I’ll tell you where it went; it went right down the crapper. Most of it was probably spent in front of the television and can you really blame me?
Hockey playoffs and the Stanley Cup go deep into June. Then I had couple weeks of freedom that were spent on my favorite barstool at the Hound getting splinters in my ass from laughing my ass off and occasionally falling off the damn thing. Then it started, the mother fucking Summer Olympics in Beijing, China. Holy mother Mary of God my eyeballs were bleeding by the end of it all. Between the opening ceremonies to the time they finally turn off the flame, I spent in front of the TV. Yes I watched everything from Michael Phelps and his crazy fucking mother, to the women’s Vagina ping-pong ball contest on the Great Wall. I watched our Commander and Chief check out the cleavage on our women’s beach volleyball team. For Christ’s sake I watched the speed walking event. That’s right kids; if you can walk you can be a mother fucking Olympian. How’s that for having a “dream”. “Mommy when I grow up I’m going to walk in the Olympics”. Can you imagine the utter shame those parents must feel? Your child can walk. Congrat-u-fucking-lations. Here’s a pistol. End it all now why don’t you. So the fucking Olympics. I loved every moment of it.
Then it happened. Barack Obama came to Denver and rocked this joint like it was Woodstock. Except it was more like the “Black Woodstock”. Now don’t’ get me wrong, I love all my fellow man and woman, but shit I didn’t know Colorado had that many black people. It was awesome. Downtown Denver looked as if it had thrown up on itself and the vomit was political propaganda. It was sweet. I got a shirt that says, “Obama is my DJ.” I have no fucking idea what that is supposed to mean but it was cool anyways and I’ll wear it on Election Day. I didn’t see Oprah and I’m a little pissed off because how could you miss her? In fact I didn’t see any of the “celebrities” that were down here. But I’ll tell you what if Brittany and Paris tell me to vote for Obama then he’s got my vote. I mean those are two really retarded people and if even they know that McCain is a lousy candidate than I must be doing something right. Minneapolis got to host the RNC. Poor fucking bastards. I think that pretty much sums that up. So we’ve got two months before the big day. Will we have the first ever-black president or will it just be another retard that will end up fucking us all? Aren’t you excited?
And now here I sit. Thinking about how I spent my “summer vacation”. Did I go camping? Take a vacation? Road Trip? Sit at the pool? Any of the fun things I did as a kid. The answer is NO. And I think that it’s fucking bullshit! I don’t want to play anymore. I feel like taking my ball and going home. On a lighter note, I did see Foo Fighters play both nights at Red Rocks and it was fucking awesome.
So that’s what I did on my summer vacation, and shit on me if it wasn’t pretty fucking memorable.
Stay Dialed In.
