Mike Haynes Returns

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At the end of the regular season, we're talking hockey here people, the Avalanche was hit with some terrible news. Mikey Haynes, the play by play announcer for the Altitude Network, was diagnosed with a brain aneurysm and had to have surgery. He missed the entire play off run and was briefly replaced by John Kelly, a former Avalanche announcer. John Kelly did a terrific job as always, but Haynes is the voice of our team.

Mike Haynes made a full and healthy recovery and he'll be returning to his thrown next season along with Peter McNabb. Just wanted to give an update to the poor bastards that actually read this trash. Also there is a great 1 hour interview with Mike on http://www.fm1043thefan.com/home.cfm It's under the On-Demand tap, sports guys, Mike Haynes interview. It's really pretty funny and worth your time.

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Drop The Gloves

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Tonight is Game 5 of the Colorado Avalanche/Minnesota Wild (still a gay name) series. 3 of the 4 games that have been played so far have gone into overtime periods. The Wild, lucky bastards, have won 2 of those games. The Av's won the first game and dominated Game 4, destroying the Wild (still gay) 5-1. But really, this series could/should be over. The Wild (gay) have had several lucky bounces and goals that ended up winning them a few games. But tonight we go back to Minnesota (not gay) where the Wild (gay) will no doubt fall on their fat (gay) asses and find them selves coming back to Denver down 3-2 in the series.

There really isn't much more I can say other than I'm guaranteeing a Avalanche victory tonight. And a healthy victory is shall be. I'm gonna say 4-1. No overtime for the Wild (gay) tonight. Just a total ass stomping. Paul Stasny will have 1 goal and 2 assists tonight.

So grab a sixer of your favorite beer, put on your gear, turn the TV up real loud, and get ready for another great game. The puck drops @ 7 p.m. and the ass-whooping will start @ 7:01 p.m.

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Mike Haynes: The Voice of the Av's

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I just want to show some respect to a great man that constantly puts a smile on my face day in and day out. Mike Haynes with the Altitude Network, play by play announcer for the Avalanche, and on-air partner of Peter McNabb will undergo surgery on a Basilar Artery Aneurysm. His amazing on-air enthusiasm makes every game worth watching. He calls a great game every time and you can feel how passionate he is about the Av's. John Kelly, a former Av's announcer, will be paired up with McNabb once again to cover the playoffs.

So just know that all the Avalanche fans are with you and your family at this difficult time. Best Wishes and of course GO AV'S!


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Avalanche Making Run At Playoffs

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Dear Readers,

For those of you that doubted me, all I have to say is.....I told ya so.


The Colorado Avalanche have put up an impressive 9-2-1 record since the end of February. Now even I'll admit that I was a little scared after a horrible loss to the Red Wings on 2/18. It really looked like we were a sunk ship. Then the trade deadline came along and we added some much needed depth, talent, and heart to our team. The addition of Denver favorites Peter Forsberg and Adam Foote really boosted our team with confidence and put the "kibosh" on a sinking morale. Ruslan Salei, a defense man we picked up from the Florida Panthers, may have been one of the best trades this season. Even though it was quietly done, and over shadowed by the Brad Richardson (to Dallas) and Marian Hossa (Pittsburgh Penguins) trades, he stepped out on to the ice and gave us power size and a surprisingly good shot from the blue line.

Now the injury bug has still been biting us in the ass. Ryan Smyth and Marek Svatos were both hurt in a game against the L.A. Kings. Svatos tearing up his knee and Smyth getting checked into the half boards and suffering a concussion. Svatos is done for the season, but Smyth should be back in the line up maybe as soon as Saturday when the New Jersey Devils step back into the Pepsi Center to only have their asses handed to them once again. Other injuries to Scott "The Sheriff" Parker, Jordan Leopold, Adam Foote, and Peter Forsberg have shortened our lines a bit, but Captain Joe Sakic and the other assistant captains have really kept the team on a roll.

With 10 games left in the season, the Av's finally reclaimed their rightful spot at the top of our division. And with all the remaining games, except for the Devils on 3/15, being against division rivals every point is going to count. So if you weren't on board before, pretend you were and start cheering on my boys. The playoffs are right around the corner and I'm smelling blood in the air. Stay Dialed In

Death & Lunch

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First things first. Way to go Av's. If you didn't watch the game like I suggested, you missed one hell of an ending. Joe Sakic was "Super" as usual and the rest of our team put on a hell of a performance. Don't worry Coach Q, the boys might just save your job after all. Av's are at home for the next 4 games, and hopefully we'll see Foppa out there giving someone hell. Keep it up boys. You owe me 14 wins, at least!

So on a different note I thought I'd write a bit about real life. I work in an office were I am one of the youngest employees they have. There are a few of us under 30 but most of the guys that work here are 50 or older. One employee in particular is older than "Death". I mean this with as much respect as I can. He's a nice old guy who walks around the office with as much energy as "Sid the Sloth". He's got a lumpy bald head that looks like the terrain for the next JEEP commercial. And his face resembles that of "Smeagol, or Gollum" for those of you that speak LOTR dork. So there is your description. Got a good picture in your head?

So I went to lunch today with "Smeagol" and another one of the employees. We went to a great Vietnamese place that I would absolutely visit again. You know it's good food when all the other patrons are Vietnamese and you're the only white people there. So we ordered our food, sipped on some tea, and struggled through pointless conversation about the weather, weekend plans, and all the crap you say to people that you don't really know. "Smeagol" doesn't say a word from the time we leave the office till the time we come back. Super, I know. The waiter brings our food and we begin the chore of attempting to respect another culture by using the chop sticks that were provided. So obviously it takes us forever to eat the god damn rice. "Smeagol" on the other hand decides to use a spoon, probably so that he can just gum his food in peace. The obvious strain of lifting a spoon to his toothless head about gave me a heart attack. He constantly looked like he was either going to:

A) Shit himself

B) Fall asleep in his Noodle Bowl

C) Die

Now granted he's an old timer and he's seen his share of winters if you take my meaning. And I'm sure you're all thinking we'll be like that someday too and how would you feel blah, blah, blah.

Now me personally, I was hoping for option B. This way I wouldn't have to smell his shit in the car ride home and Option C would have meant that I would have to use my CPR training, thank you Baywatch,and give this walking corpse mouth to mouth. For those of you that are either terribly concerned or just curious option D happened. None of the above.

The long and short of this little stint is this: My fucking lunch hour is too short to have to worry about whether or not someone asshole is going to fucking die at my table. I know it's a selfish fucking thing to think and I of course don't wish him any harm. But for god sakes man, I can't deal with that sort of pressure. Especially when all I want to do is eat my fucking chicken curry.

Until next time.....

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The Streak Begins

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Where do I even start? Well it would be totally unlike me if I didn't mention the Avalanche. Last night we played the division leading Calgary Flames. It was especially memorable since we got to see Adam Foote back where he belongs.....in a Av's sweater. The boys played with a hop in their step that we haven't seen in the last few weeks. Even being down by a goal late in the 3rd period didn't seem to slow down the Av's much. The physical battles were won against the boards, Jose Theodore played really well again only allowing 2 goals, and our offense was alive and kicking. Finally there was heart. Finally there was purpose. Finally there was a solid win against a good team and division rival.

The only downside of the game was that it went into overtime assuring the Flames of at least 1 point. Paul Stastny once again played a stellar game and proved that he is one of our most valuable players, scoring the overtime game winner. So although we only gain 1 point on Calgary, we gained 2 on everyone else. We're climbing the ladder and very soon, possibly tonight, we'll be back in a playoff spot. For those of you that remember last year, the Av's went on one of the best late season streaks we've seen in a long time. Winning 15 of a possible 17 if memory serves me right. Only to come up short by one point and miss the playoffs for the first time in Avalanche franchise history. Well, I'm predicting it right now. With less than 20 games left, I'm going to say that the Av's win at least 14 games. How can I make such a bold prediction you ask. I'll tell you. I'm a believer. Only time will tell. So stay dialed in.

Return to Greatness Pt. 2

It's been a very exciting few days here in the Mile High City of Denver. Super Joe, Paul, and Ryan all healthy and then BOOM!!! Here comes Peter "The Great" Forsberg back to wear good 'ol number 21 for the Av's. With less than 2 hours left in the trade deadline the Colorado Avalanche once again proved why they may have one of the best management teams ever. We recently just brought back another former Avalanche, fan favorite, and all around best defense man money can buy. Put your hands together and get ready to pound the boards baby because ADAM FOOTE is back in Denver wearing #52 for us once again. The Av's of old are upon us once again and ready to kick ass and take names. Avalanche fans put your hands together, stomp your feet, and yell your damn head off because if you didn't think we were back yesterday, WE SURE THE HELL ARE BACK TODAY!!!!! The trade deadline ends at 1pm MST and Rob Blake is still on the blocks, so we'll see. I could be writing a bit more today than I had planned. GO AV'S!!!!!!!!!!