Death & Lunch

You're Dialed In with JQ

First things first. Way to go Av's. If you didn't watch the game like I suggested, you missed one hell of an ending. Joe Sakic was "Super" as usual and the rest of our team put on a hell of a performance. Don't worry Coach Q, the boys might just save your job after all. Av's are at home for the next 4 games, and hopefully we'll see Foppa out there giving someone hell. Keep it up boys. You owe me 14 wins, at least!

So on a different note I thought I'd write a bit about real life. I work in an office were I am one of the youngest employees they have. There are a few of us under 30 but most of the guys that work here are 50 or older. One employee in particular is older than "Death". I mean this with as much respect as I can. He's a nice old guy who walks around the office with as much energy as "Sid the Sloth". He's got a lumpy bald head that looks like the terrain for the next JEEP commercial. And his face resembles that of "Smeagol, or Gollum" for those of you that speak LOTR dork. So there is your description. Got a good picture in your head?

So I went to lunch today with "Smeagol" and another one of the employees. We went to a great Vietnamese place that I would absolutely visit again. You know it's good food when all the other patrons are Vietnamese and you're the only white people there. So we ordered our food, sipped on some tea, and struggled through pointless conversation about the weather, weekend plans, and all the crap you say to people that you don't really know. "Smeagol" doesn't say a word from the time we leave the office till the time we come back. Super, I know. The waiter brings our food and we begin the chore of attempting to respect another culture by using the chop sticks that were provided. So obviously it takes us forever to eat the god damn rice. "Smeagol" on the other hand decides to use a spoon, probably so that he can just gum his food in peace. The obvious strain of lifting a spoon to his toothless head about gave me a heart attack. He constantly looked like he was either going to:

A) Shit himself

B) Fall asleep in his Noodle Bowl

C) Die

Now granted he's an old timer and he's seen his share of winters if you take my meaning. And I'm sure you're all thinking we'll be like that someday too and how would you feel blah, blah, blah.

Now me personally, I was hoping for option B. This way I wouldn't have to smell his shit in the car ride home and Option C would have meant that I would have to use my CPR training, thank you Baywatch,and give this walking corpse mouth to mouth. For those of you that are either terribly concerned or just curious option D happened. None of the above.

The long and short of this little stint is this: My fucking lunch hour is too short to have to worry about whether or not someone asshole is going to fucking die at my table. I know it's a selfish fucking thing to think and I of course don't wish him any harm. But for god sakes man, I can't deal with that sort of pressure. Especially when all I want to do is eat my fucking chicken curry.

Until next time.....

stay dialed in.