Once again, I’ve been starring at a blank screen. Not so much a case of writers block, but really just trying to decide what a worthy topic would be. I’ve been in contact with several of my colleagues and I do have a topic that will be coming soon. I’m thinking of calling it the “Pooping Chronicles”, a discussion on the ethics, appropriateness, and inevitability of public pooping. Dirty isn’t it??
However, what to write for this particular session that will no doubt hold your attention until the next article is finished? I have a great group of friends who all seem to have their lives in order. Which brought me to think about my own life. Though, and this is a personal observation only, I feel like I’ve made some progress over the past few years I find that I my head is still stuck up my ass. I usually refuse to apply the lessons that I’ve learned from my own experiences to my life. What the fuck is that all about? What’s the point in learning from good/bad situations, if you consciously decide to ignore the outcome? Ah…..thus the title of my current publication.
I began to find that the thought of pulling my head out of my ass and grow as a human being is totally nuts. Why struggle pulling it out for good, when it will more than likely just be shoved back up there? That’s like making an argument for the production of a square wheel. The heads natural position is up your ass. That’s where all the good ideas come from, all the insight, all the clarity. It’s when humans, especially us guys, pull our heads out that chaos and destruction take place. Think about these next couple of examples and make up your own mind.
The current President of the United States, George W. Bush, was great when his head was up his ass. Now before you start getting all riled up, just consider the following. Before George was the Commander and Chief, what did he do? He ran Texas and owned a baseball team. Big fucking deal. Besides screwing the people of the Lone Star state, and who cares about them anyways, he probably wasn’t a bad guy. He drank, snorted a little china, caused his daddy a few problems, but for the most part the rest of the world didn’t have to deal with him. Then what happened? He decided to run for President. And in order to have such an epiphany, he would have to pull his head out of his ass. Think of where we could be right now, if someone near by would have just shoved that puppy back where it belongs. If his head was up his ass right now, we’d all be okay.
My second example is Brittany Spears. Jesus Christ need I say more? You’d have to be fucking retarded to fuck up a future like that. If her head would have been in her ass, no K-Fed, no fucked up kids, no TMZ or talk shows just about Spears and the fall from grace. Fuck that shit! All we’d really have to put up with is just a few more crappy albums and some shitty #1 singles. And I think almost all of us don’t listen to shit like that anyways, so we’d be safe. Once again, head should be securely placed up the ass.
In conclusion, I say bring on the square wheel. Lets keep it simple and not complicate ourselves more than we need to. If you decide to marry your girlfriend and your head is up your ass, everything will be great. Decide to buy a new car, do it with a close up view of the ‘ol brown eye. And when you vote in Nov. 2008 please god vote for the candidate whose head is so far up his or her ass, that we couldn’t possibly get fucked in the end.
However, what to write for this particular session that will no doubt hold your attention until the next article is finished? I have a great group of friends who all seem to have their lives in order. Which brought me to think about my own life. Though, and this is a personal observation only, I feel like I’ve made some progress over the past few years I find that I my head is still stuck up my ass. I usually refuse to apply the lessons that I’ve learned from my own experiences to my life. What the fuck is that all about? What’s the point in learning from good/bad situations, if you consciously decide to ignore the outcome? Ah…..thus the title of my current publication.
I began to find that the thought of pulling my head out of my ass and grow as a human being is totally nuts. Why struggle pulling it out for good, when it will more than likely just be shoved back up there? That’s like making an argument for the production of a square wheel. The heads natural position is up your ass. That’s where all the good ideas come from, all the insight, all the clarity. It’s when humans, especially us guys, pull our heads out that chaos and destruction take place. Think about these next couple of examples and make up your own mind.
The current President of the United States, George W. Bush, was great when his head was up his ass. Now before you start getting all riled up, just consider the following. Before George was the Commander and Chief, what did he do? He ran Texas and owned a baseball team. Big fucking deal. Besides screwing the people of the Lone Star state, and who cares about them anyways, he probably wasn’t a bad guy. He drank, snorted a little china, caused his daddy a few problems, but for the most part the rest of the world didn’t have to deal with him. Then what happened? He decided to run for President. And in order to have such an epiphany, he would have to pull his head out of his ass. Think of where we could be right now, if someone near by would have just shoved that puppy back where it belongs. If his head was up his ass right now, we’d all be okay.
My second example is Brittany Spears. Jesus Christ need I say more? You’d have to be fucking retarded to fuck up a future like that. If her head would have been in her ass, no K-Fed, no fucked up kids, no TMZ or talk shows just about Spears and the fall from grace. Fuck that shit! All we’d really have to put up with is just a few more crappy albums and some shitty #1 singles. And I think almost all of us don’t listen to shit like that anyways, so we’d be safe. Once again, head should be securely placed up the ass.
In conclusion, I say bring on the square wheel. Lets keep it simple and not complicate ourselves more than we need to. If you decide to marry your girlfriend and your head is up your ass, everything will be great. Decide to buy a new car, do it with a close up view of the ‘ol brown eye. And when you vote in Nov. 2008 please god vote for the candidate whose head is so far up his or her ass, that we couldn’t possibly get fucked in the end.
1 comment:
:And when you vote in Nov. 2008 please god vote for the candidate whose head is so far up his or her ass, that we couldn’t possibly get fucked in the end.
I think what you're saying is to vote with our heads out of our asses. Isn't that a bit contrary to the argument? I mean, it all mostly makes sense, but then you end with a bomb-shell --- vote for the head-up-ass candidate. Fine and dandy, but this really does require some fresh-air breathing and some candid head-removed-from-ass thought. In the case of de-assed thought, I'm prone to do something stupid, right? Maybe I start a war with an unsuspecting country, or maybe I have a child w/ k-fed... who knows what I could do?! I mean, shit, any candidate is probably going to have his/her head up his/her ass and it will be a 50/50 coin toss, especially if we all vote with an ass-hat. Maybe that's better? Maybe this should be a coin toss... in which case, you should take your last statement back... we should vote w/ an ass hat FOR the ass hat.
OR, maybe your next blog post that you spoke of should include a section of enshrined "throne thinking/sitting." A time when our heads are removed for the purest of thought. A time when we should be thinking about nov '08.
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